I read a book, about 300-400 pages. I read pages and pages of secondary criticism and historical context. I spend hours writing a paper on a topic that at first was decided by myself but then assigned by my tutor. This paper is about 2000-3000 words long - 8-10 pages. In the space of three days. I then meet with my tutor, discuss the essay and the text, sit and stare blankly at him when he asks me to criticize the work, receive my next essay assignment, and begin again.
I have never done this much work for school. I read well over 1500 pages per week, and write two papers, longer than most I've written previously, every week. It's quite overwhelming.
I'm learning a lot, when I'm not bashing my head up against a wall (figuratively, of course) in frustration. I'm reading fabulously classic books that I've been meaning to read for years. I love the books. I don't love what I'm doing with them.
And I've realized why this is proving so difficult for me. In England, and especially within the Oxford system, by the time you get to be my age and year, a student has studied one subject for two to three years, exclusively. This is due to what are called "A levels," which are (very) roughly equivalent to two years at community college in the States. Then she gets here, and is further immersed in her chosen subject.
I, on the other hand, have taken one introductory level literature class in college.
I'm so in over my head.
Perhaps coming here was premature. Perhaps I should have waited until I've had more experience with analyzing and critiquing literature before putting myself into such an advanced, intense atmosphere.
When I get back, at least, I'll be far ahead of everyone else and have a better grasp of literature. I hope. I think.
In the meantime, I can only hope that these classes, though a great learning experience, don't bring down my GPA too much.
I could definitely see myself enjoying this system thoroughly, if I was more prepared, smarter, had taken more literature classes. As it stands, I am constantly frustrated and overwhelmed. Keeping my head above water. Just barely, but I'll make it. Hopefully somewhat unscathed. We'll see.
You obviously put the effort in~what would help you to be more prepared...? I have a free pdf download that may help with academic project management, just flick an email~ I use it as a free giveaway for students on my emial subscription.
ReplyDeleteI just wrote a huge and encouraging comment, but it just erased itself :-/. Basically, it boiled down to, "hang in there!" and " we're all rooting for you and think you're awesome" and "the grading system is much more lenient than you would think; my tutorials were full of awkward silences and I did fine; the foreign exchange students are usually the best students there because the regular oxford kids aren't being graded per term."
ReplyDeleteHope things improve...we should still set a skype date :-)
That came out much more blase than intended, sorry lol. The original comment was much more personal and encouraging :-). It's just I'm typing this on my phone and the buttons are so small, and my thumbs get tired lol.
ReplyDelete